It sucks when you love someone yet realize that it would
never work out. I have been so blessed and am so grateful and receptive to
every gift that God has bestowed upon me.
A position that is tailor-made for my interest and expertise
has been offered and accepted, setting me on the career path that I desire with
the compensation to boot. HE is great and has seen to it that even more
freelance opportunities have come my way. Though I have plenty of folks to
share the news with, there is just one individual who I really want to tell.
I couldn’t understand why there was this lack of
satisfaction, like something was missing. A very wise man shared his thoughts
and then I understood. Success is wonderful when shared.
What’s weird is that I now know the difference. I know how
it feels to be accepted completely and loved without doubt or reservation, to
the degree that an individual willingly endures the pain of another’s shadow.
How selfless! This is what love is supposed to be, selfless, committed,
resilient, and brave! I would never think of taking this for granted. It isn’t
often that one finds it. Yet I know myself well enough to acknowledge the
truth. I am not ready.
It is time to shake off the shackles of the past to make way
for the embrace of the future but how does that really happen? The past is
engrained in the very fabric of who we are. It makes us whole so it never
really is that far behind us. It is always looming… an ever permeating
presence.
I cannot afford to allow my past to effect my present and
future as it has, so I have to do something. There is too much at stake,
especially now.
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