New Edition Coming Soon...

The rerelease date is approaching, and the cause remains as necessary today as it was 7 years ago. I challenge you to fight along side every contributor whose word's grace the pages of "And We Write: Surviving Cancer Let the Healing Begin." 

We all have been touched by cancer; whether directly or indirectly, we all know someone who has succumbed to the disease, managed to overcome it's grip, or is, as you read this very message, embarking on the fight of his or her life. 

You'll be surprised by how much one person, one solitary individual, can accomplish by one kind gesture.  The proceeds from the sale of "And We Write..." will be donated to a small nonprofit that provides counseling and support to cancer victims and their loved ones. The emotional toll that this disease takes on its victims is just as traumatic as its physical effects! So I challenge you to help all those who have, are, and will kick cancer's ass, and I challenge you to help the families who weren't as fortunate enough to win the fight. The battle, however, is far from over!  I implore you to not let all those whose lives were lost, to have been taken in vain and to aid their families' healing process. 

If you purchased the compilation before, thank you! If you haven't, then please kindly spread the word and also purchase the new edition once it becomes available. The compilation will be available in both paperback and kindle formats and contain new entries and edits.

The release date to be announced soon...xoxoxo

For Monk with love!!!! 

March 29th

March 29th "Is a date that will truly 'live in infamy,' at least for me!" And We Write... Pg 40.

...but this year, I almost forgot!  I almost forgot that on the 29th of March, exactly 7 years ago, is when I had received the call! If it wasn't for a sibling who was actually one day too early, it wasn't the 28th but the 29th, with the date, I may not not have remembered at all. I did awaken yesterday morning with an all too familiar sadness.  I suppose that my internal alarm clock went off a little later than normal, but my body still innately knew.  And We Write... Pg 40.

I cannot speak for my siblings, mom! But you were an awesome mother and friend whose words of wisdom are greatly missed. You managed to see the bright side of every situation.  I apologize for the oversight. It is horrible that I allowed my own musings to consume my thoughts. It will not happen again, mommy!

I broke a promise, mom, but I always make good on my word! Whenever I set my mind on something, you know that it will be accomplished. The book will reappear with edits, additional entries composed by the Bennetts and one Ms. Wilson, and it will also be available in Kindle format in the coming months! Life threw me a hurtle, but I think that I am bouncing back nicely! You always said that God closes one door so that he can open another or even several; you were right because several opportunities have presented themselves to me. Even a door that I thought was closed for good has reopened. I am truly blessed and grateful. 


Thank you, mom, for being you no matter what and for helping me to grow into the woman who I am. I only had you for 26 years but you did so much within our brief time together and I know you are still with me. I feel your presence everyday...

From Shell Ann to Monk :)

"Fool of Me" by Me'Shell NdegéOcello

As I embark on a New Year, I reflect on 2012, with much sadness and regret. I've overcome so much in my life, and I know that this too shall pass, but damn if it doesn't suck... lol. There is always two sides to every story; there are no victims, but it still hurts and the pain can be un[fucking]bearable.

For every trail, there has always been music; there has always been a song that seemed to speak to the situation and that provided me with solace and the emotional release that creeps upon us behind closed doors... when no one is around to see us weep. 

When I lost my mother, Otis Redding's "A Change is Gonna Come" lolled me to sleep at night. 

At the moment and for the past few months, Me'Shell NdegéOcello's "Fool of Me" has been my solace.  And the song speaks to the situation perfectly...

I remember when you filled my heart with joy
Was I blind to the truth just there to fill the space
'Cause now you have no interest in anything I have to say
And I have allowed you to make me feel dumb
What kind of fool am I that you so easily set me aside 

You made a fool of me
Tell me why
You say that you don't care but we made love
Tell me why
You made a fool of me you made a fool of me 

I want to kiss you
Does she want you with the pain that I do
I smell you in my dreams
But now when we're face to face you won't look me in the eye
No time no friendship no love
Don't say don't touch you I can't touch you no more
Can't touch you any more any more
I don't touch you anymore 

You made a fool of me
Tell me why
You say that you don't care but we made love
Tell me why
You made a fool of me you made a fool of me


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc5XJTI4LWg

It too shall pass...

Thank You!

I am almost there. It has been five years and the holidays are regaining their gleam. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years haven’t really been the same. My birthday has, likewise, been a bit lackluster, too! I am a Thanksgiving baby! So the holiday has had the effect of being doubly depressing. Since my mother’s passing, I haven’t wanted to trim a tree or anything of the sort. 

Spending the holidays with family, my siblings and aunt (my mother’s sister), has become my means of coping. One should definitely be with friends and family during the holidays, even more so when a loved one is deceased. This Thanksgiving/birthday, I had the pleasure of dinning with the Archbold clan. It was a wonderful meal with good company for which I am grateful. I owe a lot to the Archbolds, specifically Kenneth Archbold. I can honestly say that I am feeling a bit more enthusiastic about the Christmas season. Time does heal all wounds but the wounds heal with fewer blemishes when one is genuinely loved and supported during those difficult and teary-eyed moments of grief and pain. Thank you Kenneth Archbold for making the holidays a little brighter!

Kinky or Straight?

My mother had a thing about hair. Every Sunday, Dax and a sizzling hot comb attacked my unruly tresses. I still recall the stench of burning hair and cringe at the site of a hot comb.

Needless to say, my mother didn’t believe in the natural look; yet, after it was straightened, my mother would proceed to cornrow my hair.  I had straight cornrows, zigzag cornrows, and even half moon shaped cornrows. You’d think that given the natural hairstyle choice, my mother would opt to leave my hair in its natural state, but no. In my mother’s opinion, my natural hair was unruly and unattractive.  She bought into the notion along with thousands of other women of color: kinky is ugly and straight is great!

This fallacy includes the idea that straight flowing locks are sexier and more alluring than natural kinky tresses. I’m not suggesting a preference here. Currently, I rock a natural fade, which I believe both suits and saves me a lot of money on a monthly basis. 

Just as it is my preference to wear my hair naturally, I would never question one’s desire to chemically straighten his or her hair or add tracks. I have rocked my fair share of relaxed styles and have also worn my fair share of weaves. I will, however, readily admit that chemically treating one’s mane isn’t healthy and does cause damage and wearing weaves also often causes damage.  Chemical straightening breaks the hairs’ natural bond, allowing it to relax and uncoil to the degree that it becomes straight.  Gluing and sewing in one’s tracks, like wise, causes damage in the form of premature bolding and thinning of one’s hair.  Given the risks and maintenance that both weaves and relaxed styles require, I just prefer to remain natural. Also, a weave can cost dang near as much as half of one’s rent. I would spend about $100 on human hair and $200 on a weave, and I would also have to get my hair relaxed, which upped the cost of service. I spent anywhere from $350 to $400 on a weave, which is considered reasonable for a good one. I actually know of some places that charge $500 and up for weaving services. Mind you, a good weave will last about two months before needing to be redone.

If you have the disposable income that would permit you to afford the regular maintenance, and aren’t afraid of the potential risks, then by all means get your hair done in any manner that tickles your fancy.  What I cannot condone are those females who will forego their rent (My barber and I spoke of a customer or two who actually use their rent money) to pay for their hair. I’m appalled by the measures that some women will take to live up to some predetermined notion of beauty. But hey, when they’re out on the street without the comforts of warmth and security, at least their hair will be tight!

Additionally, some of the things that we females do to achieve our desired looks are oxymoronic. Case in point, while waiting for my barber at Khamit Kinks, I met a young attractive African American woman.  As we were both sitting in the waiting area, I couldn’t help but overhear her phone conversation,  “Yeah, I Just got here. It’s not that far in Brooklyn. No, I’m not getting my hair done. I am waiting to get a consultation.”  She was anxious and assumed that the stylist who walked toward the leather sofa upon which we sat was the person with whom she would speak.  When the stylist smiled and proceeded to retrieve a cup of water from the cooler to the right of the sofa, her anxiety grew. I could feel her staring at me before she finally asked, “Are you a regular here?”

I turned to face her, smiling and explained that I was and that I was very satisfied with the service. She mentioned the name of the individual she was scheduled to have her consultation with and asked me if I knew who the person was. Unfortunately, I did not. I proceeded to ask what she wanted to get done.  Apparently, she had just taken out her weave and had straightened the front of her hair, lifting her knitted cap to expose slightly straightened and twisted tresses as evidence. She wanted to get another weave, a natural weave using natural kinky hair styled into chubby twists. Furthermore, the weave had to be on point and as close to natural as possible so as to pass for her real hair. I assured her that I’ve seen stylists at the shop doing weaves, braids and an array of ethnic styles and that I thought they would be able to achieve the look that she wanted and added that she should ask to see photos of the style. We chatted a bit more about the quality of the shop (topnotch) and then the stylist she was waiting for approached and whisked her away.

My initial thought after hearing what the young lady wanted was, what the hell? She wants a “believable” weave with Afro kinky hair styled in chubby twists? It seemed silly to me, considering she wanted to get a weave in a very Afro centric style, a look that her natural hair was capable of achieving. One could take this to mean that her natural kinky hair wasn’t good enough to achieve a style that’s typically associated with her culture.  The whole thing was very oxymoronic in nature.  Her natural hair was perfectly kinky and long enough to pull off the style but she opted to add tracks to really make the look work, and the tracks needed to be as close as possible to her own hair texture.

At least she believes that her hair texture is beautiful! It’s a shame, though, that it needs a little enhancement before it can be perfect.

Book Signing Pictures. Long Over Due...

Bob Johnson! His entry reading was highly entertaining.  

Cetin! He moved audience members to tears.

The above are a few of the writers whose stories are in the compilation

Which One is It?

I’m long over due for a new post, so rather than sit on my coach while the idiot box watches me (I really should just cancel my cable service), I figured I’d write about work, a job or career—if the word “career” applies.  I would think that by the time one reaches the ripe old age of 30, he or she would be employed in a “career” of choice but this is far from the truth.

I am employed and relatively content.  I have my complaints just like the next person (or coworker), and I have noticed that it is highly uncommon to find individuals, at least within my circle of friends, who are truly satisfied with their jobs or who admit to having careers. Ironically, I would actually call some friends’ jobs careers if it weren’t for their utter disenchantment with their positions.

So how does one differentiate between a job and a career?

When I was younger my understanding of both terms was very clear-cut, like black and white and night and day.  I believed that a job merely paid the bills and wasn’t something that one went to school for or particularly cared to do but did it to survive; a career was something that I believed required one to go to school to become proficient in a particular area.  Since schooling was required to procure a career, I logically considered a career to be something that folks wanted and were happy to perform the daily tasks associated with that career.  Furthermore, I assumed that with a career came economic stability.

I have plenty of friends who have degrees but are not working in their area of study or have decided to switch from a “career” to a job.  I also have friends who have “careers” that barely afford them life’s necessities.  I also have friends who have jobs (according to my youthful perception of the term) and are doing quite well for themselves and are quite content.  

Do you think that it is merely a matter of perception?  Is there really a difference between “having a job” and “having a career”?  I mean, if I were rich, I would opt to have neither a job nor a career.  I would just have a hobby that I performed on a daily basis …LMAO! So talk to me folks; what do you think?

Which Do You Have: A Job Or A Career?

I’m long over due for a new post, so rather than sit on my coach while the idiot box watches me (I really should just cancel my cable service), I figured I’d write. 

It was either write or exercise, so I opted to write about work, a job or career—if the word “career” applies.  I would think that by the time one reaches the ripe old age of 30, he or she would be employed in a “career” of choice but this is far from the truth.

I am employed and relatively content.  I have my complaints just like the next person (or coworker), and I have noticed that it is highly uncommon to find individuals, at least within my circle of friends, who are truly satisfied with their jobs or who admit to having careers. Ironically, I would actually call some friends’ jobs careers if it weren’t for their utter disenchantment with their positions.

So how does one differentiate between a job and a career?

When I was younger my understanding of both terms was very clear-cut, like black and white and night and day.  I believed that a job merely paid the bills and wasn’t something that one went to school for or particularly cared to do but did it to survive; a career was something that I believed required one to go to school to become proficient in a particular area.  Since schooling was required to procure a career, I logically considered a career to be something that folks wanted and that they were happy to perform the daily tasks associated with that career.  Furthermore, I assumed that with a career came economic stability.

I have plenty of friends who have degrees but are not working in their area of study or have decided to switch from a “career” to a job.  I also have friends who have “careers” that barely afford them life’s necessities.  I also have friends who have jobs (according to my youthful perception of the term) and are doing quite well for themselves and are quite content.  

Do you think that it is merely a matter of perception?  Is there really a difference between “having a job” and “having a career”?  I mean, if I were rich I would opt to have neither a job nor a career.  I would just have a hobby that I performed on a daily basis.  So talk to me folks; what do you think?