Thursday, October 10, 2013

Blessed But...

It sucks when you love someone yet realize that it would never work out. I have been so blessed and am so grateful and receptive to every gift that God has bestowed upon me.

A position that is tailor-made for my interest and expertise has been offered and accepted, setting me on the career path that I desire with the compensation to boot. HE is great and has seen to it that even more freelance opportunities have come my way. Though I have plenty of folks to share the news with, there is just one individual who I really want to tell.

I couldn’t understand why there was this lack of satisfaction, like something was missing. A very wise man shared his thoughts and then I understood. Success is wonderful when shared.

What’s weird is that I now know the difference. I know how it feels to be accepted completely and loved without doubt or reservation, to the degree that an individual willingly endures the pain of another’s shadow. How selfless! This is what love is supposed to be, selfless, committed, resilient, and brave! I would never think of taking this for granted. It isn’t often that one finds it. Yet I know myself well enough to acknowledge the truth. I am not ready.

It is time to shake off the shackles of the past to make way for the embrace of the future but how does that really happen? The past is engrained in the very fabric of who we are. It makes us whole so it never really is that far behind us. It is always looming… an ever permeating presence.

I cannot afford to allow my past to effect my present and future as it has, so I have to do something. There is too much at stake, especially now.

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